something good...

i haven’t written anything on here since July 2010. slack much? i think so. :)

so much has happened in my life over the past few days and will be happening over the next few months. i want to try and write about how i am feeling and what’s happening so that one day i can look back at it and remember as much as possible.

getting engaged has been such an amazing experience. there have been so many emotions and so many tears (of joy, of course.) Kyle is the most amazing man i have ever known. he loves me in a way that sometimes i cannot understand. he loves the Lord in a way that inspires me. i would say he is the man of my dreams but honestly he is more than i could have dreamed or dared to.

ever since Kyle got down on his knee in front of his entire family, by the way, (the perfect proposal) Romans 8:28 (MSG) has been running through my mind "we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." i feel overwhelmed with joy when i think about how God knew that every step would lead me to this moment. that every mistake, every regret, and every stumble would land me in the arms of such an amazing man.

i can honestly say that there was a very big part of me that was unsure if this moment would ever come in my life. i know people say things like that but i genuinely mean it. before falling in love with Kyle i always felt i was so damaged. life has made me hard and independent, not soft and submissive the way a wife should be. i never thought a man could see through all that and into the soft, emotional woman that i am inside. but Kyle does. he really sees me and loves me so well.

i feel so blessed that the Lord worked everything in my life into something oh so good. i am excited to start our life and change my name but right now i am basking in the wonderful joy i feel at this moment.

and to top it all off, he is unbelievably handsome.